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This Week on TV (3/2-3/8)

(You can view TV Envy’s Midseason Programming Schedule here.)

MONDAY 3/2)

The Bachelor (ABC, 8pm): “It’s down to Melissa and Molly as Jason bestows the final rose.” But first, two more quick trips to the hot tub.
Rules of Engagement (CBS, 9:30pm): Season premiere. “Audrey learns Russell is a closet Broadway musical fan, and uses the knowledge to blackmail him for theater tickets.” Tip: Blackmail is best used when Broadway shows aren’t closing.
CSI: Miami (CBS, 10pm): “A murder occurs onboard a yacht belonging to high-powered attorney Derek Powell (Sean Combs).” Blood at Diddy’s “White Party”? That’s gonna stain.
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (NBC, 12:30am): “Jimmy Fallon’s inaugural show features Robert De Niro and Justin Timberlake.” Carson Daly has been working for years to get both these guys.

Here’s an update on the shows you’ll be seeing more of in the months to come:

EXTENSIONS

RENEWALS

(To get a look at TV Envy’s Midseason Programming Schedule, click here.)

(You can view TV Envy’s Post-Strike Television Schedule here.)

MONDAY (3/31)

Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 8pm): The top 10 dancers take the floor tonight. If Marlee Matlin also manages to master the fast jive, she’ll have my votes from this point out.
The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8pm): “Sheldon gets sick, but the guys refuse to take care of him because he’s such a bad patient.” So is there such thing as a good male patient?
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8:30): “Barney tries to find the mystery woman who’s out to ruin his reputation, and he uses the basketball tournament-bracket template to eliminate 64 suspects.” Okay - if CBS can’t get around to finally renewing this series, I will give them 64 reasons why I hate them.
New Amsterdam (FOX, 9pm): “When a murder victim in Chinatown murder reminds John of a son he lost in the early 20th century, the investigation leads to a ruthless crime family who are related to his offspring.” And I thought Terminator‘s storyline was trippy.

(Reminder: You can view the whole Revamped TV Programming Schedule here.)

MONDAY (1/7)

The View (ABC, check local listings): Elisabeth Hasselbeck returns from maternity leave. I’d gladly sacrifice her to the union gods for an end to the writers’ strike.
Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann (ABC, 8pm): Here’s our chance to see if the DWTS judges can actually teach what they preach.
American Gladiators (NBC, 8pm): “In the men’s competition, an engineer takes on a radiation-control technician.” The year of the nerd has now officially spilled over into 2008.
Medium (NBC, 10pm): Season four premiere. “Allison has creepy visions of a boy being kidnapped from a toy store.” I never did trust that Geoffrey Giraffe.
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations (Travel Channel, 10pm): Anthony travels to Singapore for his latest season premiere. I don’t like traveling with crusty people, but I love watching them venture on TV.
The Daily Show/The Colbert Report (Comedy Central, 11:30pm): Tonight Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will crank out their versions of a writer-less show. God love ‘em for trying.